Evolution of my view on LOVE

For me, my view of love has changed dramatically over the last couple years. Growing up I believed that love had to be earned and you don't get it freely from anyone. From my parents I thought I had to get good grades, do chores, play piano, make them happy and then that would result in them loving me. From God it was I had to go to church, read the bible, pray for my sins and then God would love me. From friends or relationships, I had to provide for them, think about them all the time, do things with them and then they could love me. Even for myself I had to learn, I had to put myself in painful situations, be strong and then maybe I could love myself. But that has all changed for me.

I don't have the perspective from being a parent loving their child but I do understand the concept and try my best to practice unconditional love. Ask a parent what would you say to your kid if your kid said, "If I do bad in school, will you still love me?" or "When I do what you say you'll love me then right?" Of course parents always wants what is best for their child but no matter what they do or who they become a parent will almost always love their child no matter what. For me I experienced unconditional love first from my dog who taught me life lessons in being happy, seeing the joy in little things, enjoying each day out in whatever weather nature brings and the joy in not having to talk all the time to enjoy each other's company. 

For relationships I was so scared to let people in. I didn't want to show weakness. I didn't want to face my shit. I didn't want to commit. I didn't want to share. I was so scared of love but wanted it so badly that I convinced myself I didn't need it from others. I have learned that yes it is true you don't need love from others in order to feel love, you have so much of it within. But I did learn that love amongst everything else is always in abundance and it's always there to receive freely so long as you choose to receive it. And giving love is not more of value than receiving it. Both are equally needed and both are equally of value. 

I see love now as the answer to everything and it's what connects us all to each other and everything else. Sounds cheesy maybe? but it is the truth I have found for myself. Nothing is more powerful than LOVE! A lot of my evolution and view on love changed when I met my partner. She came to me with the view of non-monogamy and that right away challenged my view on what I learned relationships are supposed to look like. I had the example of my parents who are still married to this day and have stuck together through thick and thin. I am grateful for their example. I knew though from a young age that their version of a relationship wasn't for me but I didn't know what my version looked like. Growing up I didn't really ever had crushes on anyone, there would be a girl or guy here or there that I thought was cute but it was such a superficial attraction. The idea of love at first sight is still so foreign to me but I do understand love at first feel!

Love has no expectations,

Love has no attachments,

Love is present in any environment,

Love is always abundant,

Love has no boundaries,

Love is what binds us,

Love is who we are!

Alyssa QuinneyComment